Shame Body Shaming. Call It Out When It Happens.

The topic of body shaming is not new. In fact it’s old. Decades and decades old. So old that it’s a sad cliche of every day life.

Growing up I saw body shaming happen almost every day in a small or big way; sometimes I did it to myself and sometimes others did it to me. But from early on (and very rightly so) I was taught about self-love and self-confidence and the harm of body shaming. Beauty lies within and my uniqueness is what I need to focus on and celebrate. The message is clear and it is true: I cannot hold myself to standards created by someone else, and more importantly, I cannot let what someone else thinks or says define who I am or how I feel.

And I fully accept that it’s easier said than done.

Recently I was at an event and this person I barely know (now referred to as PIBK) walks up to me and here’s the conversation we had:

Person I barely know (PIBK): Hi, how are you? Are you expecting?
Me: Hi..what no! I just had a baby recently…
PIBK (looking at my slightly outward tummy): Oh…but hasn’t it already been like six months?
Me: Yeah like 9 or 10…
PIBK: Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to offend you.
*Insert some stupid attempt to save themselves that didn’t work*

Yes, I had a baby about a year ago and I gained weight. I haven’t lost much of it and while many other new moms around me are back to their original sizes within months of having a baby, my body and story is not the same and I’m okay with that. I’m living my life and I’m happy. But somehow other people who I’m not even friends with or close to don’t seem to be okay with this. They think they have a right to an opinion about my body and life. When I think about it like this, I think it’s just insane!

PIBK didn’t want to “offend me” and yet they did in one of the harshest ways possible. I didn’t call them out on it because I’m too nice. But I wish I had. There is a need to change the conversation about body shaming: to not be afraid to shame body shaming when it happens.

Let’s make that the norm, or dare I say, the cliche.