Convo Over Coffee: Saying Goodbye To The “New Mama” Chapter Of My Life And Saying Hello To A New One
The “new mama” chapter of my life is officially over. My kids are no longer babies — I am now proud mama to a young boy and toddler girl. Life is so different now than it was when my toddler girl was a squishy newborn blob.
The nursery got a rapid overnight upgrade to a playroom with toys, activities, books and cushions when it dawned on me (rather late) that both kids now need a common space to play, make a mess of, and call their own. My son and daughter are no longer leading parallel lives; they are bonding and interacting as siblings and it brings me so much joy to see.
The pace of daily life feels a lot faster. I guess dealing with two of everything — routines, feedings, baths, activities, complaints and whines, fights and cries, and bedtimes — leaves me no time to actually stop and think about anything properly. The transition from managing two kids on two different schedules to now seeing both mesh together happened so quickly.
And while I personally relished the newborn and baby phase the second time much more, I am enjoying this phase of spending time as a whole family (where baby and I no longer random disappear off for feedings and naps!) and seeing the bond grow between my kids. I think the feeling of ‘family’ has really stuck with me this past year — I look around and feel complete and content.
When I was pregnant for the first time with my older son in 2016, I felt like I was at the beginning of a new chapter of my life — the chapter of becoming a mom — and it felt like it was going to be a really, really long and exhausting one. Well, the joke’s on me because five years have gone — flown — by and I can see that my kids don’t need me in that way anymore. It’s bittersweet. The baby phase is so precious and fleeting. And once it’s over, it’s really over.
We have entered a new — more complex — phase in our parent-child relationship where I see that they need me more emotionally and mentally. They turn to me for physical comfort at times but mental and emotional support plays a much bigger role in daily life. Being a parent isn’t that hard but parenting is. So I’m bracing myself with the hope that all I learned and experienced during this “new mama” chapter will provide me with the foundation for what will be the “raising good humans” chapter.
Saying goodbye to the “new mama” chapter has also allowed me to take the time to focus on myself and what I want for my future. Having kids really put my body and mind through a lot and so the first thing I promised myself after the “new mama” phase ended was to focus on my health. I wanted to regain my strength and fitness (mentally and physically) because running after two kids with endless energy is no joke. I spent 6 months eating clean and exercising daily, as well as making changes to my lifestyle. And I did it. I am really proud of how far I have come and I’m even happier about how I feel.
The second promise I made to myself was to “get back to work” but not in the way you might think. I want to turn my passion for content creation and being creative into something bigger with income-generating potential. I am still working on it. I know I have a long road ahead of me and lots to learn. But I am excited just by the thought of starting it. I hope you’ll join me on this journey.
It is humbling to think what my life looked like five years ago and what it looks like today. It’s gone by so fast and so much has happened. When I’m old and forgetful I will want to look back on this season of my life, which gave me so many experiences to learn and grow from as well as incredible and sweet memories to cherish. So, here I am, waving goodbye to the “new mama” chapter and saying hello to a new chapter in the relationship with my kids, but also with myself. Shall we call it the “raising good humans with a happy, fulfilled mom” chapter?