Life Lessons from My Parents I Want to Pass on to My Kids

As I navigate the exciting new world of parenthood figuring out what kind of parent I want to be and what values I want to teach my kids, I thought a lot about my own parents and what are the key lessons I learned from them and how they impacted me.

1. Always maintain your relationships and never burn bridges 
This is one of the most important lessons I learned from my parents and I try to remember it every single day for the simple reason that you never know when someone may come back into your life or when you might need to reach out to someone for help or advice. Being kind, polite and positive costs you nothing yet yields huge rewards in the long run.

2. Integrity is key and honesty is paramount
Be honest in all that you do and work with integrity. I don’t think this lesson needs much explanation but it’s something my mom always reminded me of. She often said “If you’re honest then you will never have anything to hide and have no fear of getting in trouble or doing something wrong”. And while it may sound like a jaded life lesson, it’s a very important one. My parents led by example showing us that they were honest and integral in every aspect of their lives. I realise that they also encouraged honesty to foster a good communication equation between us and it made it so much easier to open up to them about any issues or problems. 

3. Work-life balance is an every day choice
Working hard is a life lesson we all know very well. But learning to balance work and life is a choice we have to make every day. As a kid, I remember my dad would come home between 7-8pm from work most days. He would enter the house every day with his arms wide ready for me to charge at him and he would pick me up and swing me around in the air. For as long as I can remember, aside from the odd business phone calls at the dinner table, my dad never brought work home with him and it almost never intruded on family time. He always made it home for dinner and after dinner we would play cards and board games together. He made the choice to be present in those moments and not let work take over. Mind you he also worked half day on Saturdays for almost 20 years and his solution: take the kids to work with him! I have fond memories of tiny me sitting in his huge office chair feeling like the coolest kid in the world and I would either mess around on his computer with the old school drawing program ‘Paint’ or do homework while he worked. The important thing here is work never got in the way of life and I so admire my dad and mom for managing it the way they did. I hope to do the same for my family. 

4. Be chill
Maybe hard to believe but I really learned to relax and take it easy from my parents. I don’t mean be lazy and do nothing; I mean it as a mindset. There’s no point in getting stressed over the things we have no control over, so it’s wiser to be easygoing and go with the flow. By following this, I feel that I am way more open to new experiences and if things don’t go my way I know how to take it easy and not get stressed. It’s definitely a skill I’m happy I have since becoming a parent because kids can causes all kinds of stress every day! 

5. Read the newspaper every day
The first sight of my dad every morning until today is him with the newspaper and a cup of tea. As a kid, a teen, a college student, a young adult and now a parent, this ritual of my dad’s has not changed one bit. I admire how he makes reading the paper a part of his day. Growing up he would always say to me “you must read the newspaper every day because you need to know what’s going on in the world and if not full article, scour the headlines at the very least” and as expected I found reading the newspaper quite boring until I realised that sometimes I didn’t know what people around me were talking about and couldn’t contribute to the conversation. I felt quite dumb to be honest and I hated feeling that way. Since high school I always scour the headlines and then decide what articles to read further. Fortunately with today’s apps and technology, the news is just a tap away. Today my ritual is to read the news on my phone in bed before going to sleep. It’s not the best ritual but it works for me. 

6. Learn the value of money; it doesn’t grow on trees
I remember hearing this phrase so often as a kid. Whenever I went shopping with my parents, I would, of course, say ‘I want this…I want that’ and if my parents didn’t think my ask was reasonable, they wouldn’t say “no” right away but ask me “Do you think that it’s worth X amount? You must learn the value of money. It doesn’t grow on trees” and then explain why it wasn’t worth spending on and what item or thing might be worth spending that same amount on. I remember always feeling annoyed at having to think about this question and realising they were right. I often wished I could just buy stuff without thinking but today I am so glad they drilled this very important lesson into my head and I will pass it on to my own kids. 

7. Be financially independent and treat yourself once in a while
Being financially independent gives me the freedom to spend money the way I choose to. You don’t have to save every penny. It’s ok to spend on nice things and enjoy luxurious experiences once in a while because it is well-deserved and earned. 

8. Play a sport and/or have an active hobby 
I’ll be very honest: I am lazy and I procrastinate like it’s my job. It’s a terrible flaw and I am working to get better at it. As a kid I tried every sport and activity under the sun (for those interested the list is at the end of this post)* and nothing really stuck mostly due to my laziness. I didn’t discover or find my passion until much later when I was in high school and realised I liked painting, writing and being creative; it all came naturally to me. While I still pursue a combination of these passions in a personal and professional sense, I wish I had committed to one particular sport or activity and become the best at it. I am more a jack-of-all than a king-of-one as I dabble in different creative pursuits. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing but there is a certain camraderie and social development that comes from being part of a team sport or group activity. My dad played sports his whole life, cricket and tennis in his younger days and picked up golf in his semi-retired days. My mom started painting almost 25 years ago with classes and now she paints in a studio with her best friends. I admire both my parents for the dedication, practice and joy for the art or activity each has chosen. It’s something they look forward to, to call their own, and most importantly, to be passionate about. I think it makes them happier, stress-free people. While I didn’t get into sports, I try my best to keep my creativity going with personal and professional projects and hope to be more focused and dedicated to it as I get older. 

*tennis, badminton, golf, ballet, hip hop dance, horse riding, classical Indian singing and dancing, piano, tae kwondo, and painting and drawing. 

What are some of the life lessons you learned from your parents? Share in the comments below.