The M Word – Two Year Update
I wrote my first “The ‘M’ Word” blog post a little after I had Kiaan two years ago and back then writing about my experiences was just a cathartic emotional and mental release. I didn’t think much of it until suddenly another whole year passed by and I had a busy 1-year old who had changed so much that it compelled me to document all my thoughts in the The ‘M’ Word – One Year Update.
And I now realise I love having something to look back, which captures my memories and thoughts as my little family grows and changes.
I welcome you to the Two Year Update!
Motherhood: I differ between ‘motherhood’ and ‘mom’ because I feel the former captures how my lifestyle has changed and the latter is more focused on my role as a mother. In the first year or so I felt like motherhood was overwhelming and scary simply because everything felt so new and unpredictable, especially since I was a first-time mom. A year ago I found it really hard to let go and trust that other people could help me take care of Kiaan — I think it was just a mental and emotional block I had to pass when the time was right for me. But during this past year I find myself so much more relaxed and trusting of myself and others too. I also find myself embracing parenthood as a lifestyle more positively. What I mean is that now I don’t feel like being a parent means that I have had to give up everything; I am able to do all the things like work, going to the gym, socialising etc I did before I had a kid but now it just requires more planning and organisation. I have also adapted and figured out how to have fun as a parent (wine and cheese nights at home!) and that’s been a great change from last year.
Mom: I said it before and I will say it forever: Mom — a very small word to describe the world’s biggest job. In this past year I think I have been a lot more proactive and motivated in my role as a mom. During the first year Kiaan was younger and smaller and spent a lot of time at home…and napping. Around 18-19 months he dropped to one nap a day meaning that he was alert and awake for longer and he needed more stimulation and activity (he started talking and running around so much!). So this past year has been spent being what I would call a “practical and active mom” (I think last year I was much more emotional about my role as a mom). Kiaan and I have explored many playgroups and activities around the city, been on lots of playdates and made some good friends along the way. It’s been an interesting year because I can now see how a mother’s love is reflected in actions, not just emotions. Kiaan is also talking in full sentences now and able to communicate so much more so it’s been very interesting for me to understand and see that he is a little boy, and not a baby anymore.
Mini human: I remember so distinctly last year being so proud that Kiaan knew a few words — “car”, “bah” (for book), “woof”, “mama” — and could “communicate” with me. Little did I know that a year later my little boy would be talking in full sentences and asking deep questions like “Mama, is Milo a happy dog?”. And now the only sound you hear in the house is Kiaan’s non-stop chatter and questions and singing. Kiaan also started school this year, which has been the biggest change for us both. He’s loving it and learning so much; it’s incredible to see how quickly he adapts and learns. Kiaan also has a “girlfriend” in school now (each day it’s someone new and I’m not sure how I feel about this :S). Overall, we have moved from me just anticipating his every need to Kiaan telling me (or me asking) and then taking action. He’s become so, so much more independent and knows his likes and dislikes. He’s also become very emotional and I always say for a little person, he has some pretty big and deep emotions! He can tell when I’m not paying attention or I’m distracted and will throw a small tantrum. Just like a grown up he has mood swings and opinions. At this stage, he’s just curious about everything and everyone around him — I can see he’s trying to give objects and people in his life context and it’s pretty amazing to see how everything is coming together in his mind and that he’s able to express himself.
Mister: I wrote last year that I feel like my husband and I are the “co-CEOs” of our little family and everyday we spent a few minutes discussing Kiaan and Milo’s daily adventures — what went well, what didn’t go well, what issues need addressing and what’s next. And that hasn’t changed much. But what has changed a lot is how both Kiaan (and Milo) bond with my husband and actively seek him out at certain points in the day. Some days it’s only “papa” they want and it’s amazing to see the special bonds and rituals my husband has created with the kids. His instincts as a father are stronger and spot on (most of the time!). And more than ever, I feel like my husband is truly my partner in this whole parenting thing and we’re having lots of fun.
Mutt: Milo is Kiaan’s guardian, brother and best friend. Kiaan’s grown up (physically and emotionally) a lot this past year and connects in a deeper way with Milo. Kiaan wants to be involved in Milo’s daily routines and does it out of his own will — it’s the cutest thing. Kiaan will pick up Milo’s food bowl if it’s empty and say “give Milo khaana (Hindi for “food”)”. Or point out if Milo’s water bowl is empty. Milo is equally protective of his little brother, if anyone who’s not family approaches Kiaan, you can bet Milo is not too far doing what I call “inspections”. Milo is first at the door every morning for school drop-off; I think he thinks it’s his job to escort Kiaan to school. Daily evening walks are a thing: Kiaan scoots around on his scooter while Milo says hi to his doggie friends. In a way, managing the two has become a lot easier and I think they are both way more settled and easy with each other too. Suffice to say, the bond between these two is something I truly cherish and their antics light up my world. Check out my Instagram “ThatBroLife” story highlights for videos of Kiaan and Milo’s hilarious adventures.
Milk: Kiaan loves his “dudu” (Hindi for milk). He has a bottle before naptime and bedtime and until very recently was also having a bottle in the middle of the night. I just weaned him off the night feed because it was affecting his sleep and diet during the day and it’s been great. He’s sleeping and eating better. I wish I had done it sooner but some part of me just didn’t feel it was the right time.
Moo: I still get mild rage when I think about pumping; it’s been ages since I stopped but it still has to be one of worst port-birth experiences. Anyways, I guess for “Moo” this year I’ll stick to the theme of feeding but more in terms of what kind of food Kiaan started eating over the past year. When Kiaan about 12-14 months he only had 4 teeth so he was still on a steady diet of mushy-textured foods like oats, congee, khichdi (Indian-style rice congee with daal), soup and rice and soft fruits like banana, watermelon, papaya, strawberry etc. From that point I tried every few weeks / months to introduce new foods and textures such as pasta, roti and mixed veggies, bread etc in an effort to develop chewing skills and a taste for all kinds of foods. Cut a long story short: Kiaan was really, really fussy about the texture of his food and was too lazy to chew anything — he just preferred the ease of mushy, soft foods. It was only close to his second birthday when he willingly started to eat all kinds of food (I’m assuming that’s also when more of his teeth came in). I also started encouraging Kiaan to use a spoon and fork to eat once he turned 18 months old and now just past the age of 2 he’s slowly starting to eat his meals on his own though he still gets lazy / distracted after a while and wants someone to feed him — but we’re making pretty big strides!
And there you have it – my two year update on the ‘M’ word. Let me know if you had similar or different experience with any of the above. If you have any questions or comments, please do share below.